Living for Heaven

I was planning on taking this one-year off, to serve God. The next part of the plan was: coming back home only one semester behind, going to college meeting someone and then starting my life. But recently I have started pondering what it would mean for me to live with an eternal perspective. A real eternal perspective, not that I’m living a life that will get me to Heaven but a life where this life is a service and the eternal life is the one of enjoyment (I’m not saying that a life of service would be not have enjoyment but that enjoyment, even my happiness, would not be a primary factor). This pondering was greatly pushed along by The Irresistible Revolution, Living as an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne. The book speaks about the poverty of the world and selfishness of the American Dream. About living in Love, radically changing the world through love. And those acts come at a sacrifice, there is great fulfillment but still there is the cost of a sacrifice. And it made me start to consider what would my life look like if getting married, having a beautiful house and family, and having all the sweet indulgences of living in a 1^st world country were no longer important to me. What my life would mean if I truly left all behind to follow only Jesus.

            Shane Claiborne talks about how Jesus commanded the disciples to leave all they had and go with nothing (no wallet, not even a change of clothes) to perform acts of love. Even writing it out seems so ridiculous. Surely this is not the life God has called me to! Coming to India was a very simple easy choice when there was the end line in sight. When it was a sacrifice of one year to get to live in India and work with little kids AND I could just put my life at home on pause it was an easy choice. But the thought of actually letting that life back at home go is so scary to me.

            I had a great quiet time a few weeks ago in which God showed me how he will satisfy me wherever he calls me. That he will more than satisfy me, that following him will fill me with so much joy. That no matter what I have to give up what he will give me will be so much better and I won’t miss what I had to give up. But even with that promise fresh on my heart the thought of giving up all the things I want to experience in this life is…truly horrific. 

            Now I’m not saying that God has called me to do it. It may very well be his plan that I come home next year and go to college. But I am saying that I want to be able to give all of myself up for His plan. I am opening my life up to God’s use, even if it makes me give up all of my dreams.

~I am starting to seriously pray about coming back next year.

P.S. Ruth and I aren’t going on the trek, we are instead going down to Dehli to see a couple who used to be a part of Shishya and now have started a school in one of the slums. So we are going to spend four days with them, learning about the slums and helping in any way we can. I’m really excited because I think I may want to work with slums at some point. That was my original desire in coming so this can be a little taste to see if I want to get involved! I’m really excited! It does involve another 6 hour train ride both ways…that part won’t be too fun! I know there is a video on youtube about what they do but I’m not sure about what it is called. I’ll keep you updated!

(I was sick today and didn’t go to school so that’s my excuse for having time to write!)