This post has taken me quite a while to write. I tried so many times, but I just couldn't do it. okay, here we go: India has a new policy about tourist visas (me). The new rule? you have to stay out of the country for TWO WHOLE MONTHS before you can enter again.
This has been an emotional roller coaster. First hearing the news I was terrified, i was leaving for America in a week! But then I had peace because it was only for 5 and 10 year visas. I had a one year...Then I got an email saying that it would apply to me (worry, upset, anxious). But then Ken and Frieda felt like I would still be able to get back in. A lot of times new rules and laws are not necessarily fallowed. Back to the easy, uncomplicated, peaceful state. But then the big one: the visa company sent me an email saying I couldn't get in. This email was the scariest. And Ken and Frieda agreed. I wouldn't be able to get through the AIRPORT but maybe I could get through going by land? So I looked and looked for a ticket to Nepal with the intension of going from boarder post to boarder post until someone let me in. It would be an adventure. I was excited for this idea. But financially it was really much too expensive (like $1200 more!) And there was a really good chance that I would be stuck alone in Nepal for a month.
I have found a solution. I'll be in Kona till the 25th (nine extra days) and then go to California to visit my two older sisters and their families and leave there on the 23rd of Feb when I can legally get back in. And it will be really good. But it's not easy. I cried myself to sleep last night. I'm missing the birthdays. I'm missing the boys. I'm missing my classes. I have so little time there already and to lose over a month of it is breaking my heart. I've been struggling through this all to trust God and be joyful. But it's not easy. I want more than anything to be in control and this situation reminded me once again how I have absolutely NO control over anything. And it's a lesson I hate learning. Because it always comes with heart ache. But I know God is GOOD and he is in control.
And so here I am. I am not going to be on that flight on the 16th.
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Kalana! I feel for you, and pray that the Lord brings you peace in it all! He has such a funny way of showing He really is in control of our lives. HE is good!
ReplyDeleteWhat a good line: "I have absolutely NO control over anything. And it's a lesson I hate learning. Because it always comes with heart ache. But..."
ReplyDeleteBut GOD. Always the same struggle, always the same answer. Thanks for sharing your heart and for the great reminder. I can't wait to be back there with you SOON... it's gonna come before we know it!