Lassi: India, my desire

When I was young I read this "Royal Diary" book about a princess in India...now I can't remember her name, but I loved the story. At one point it talks about the feast after the end of Ramadan and specifically about this yogurt drink called Lassi. I fell in love with the idea and have always wondered what this drink would be like. I would skip to that part of the story to read again about the exotic things they would eat and drink and always this lassi fascinated me. And this weekend up at the top of the mountain we were having brunch...pizza and these pan CAKES (that were AMAZING!) and they had lassi! I was soooo excited I ordered the mango one and it was sooooo good! It was so fun drinking this drink that years before I had been dying to try. I had almost forgotten about wanting to try it until I had seen a sign the day before and all the memories of that book and yearning to try that yogurt drink came back to me. 

         Amanda pointed out how it was amazing to look back over our lives and see the hints of desiring India and wanting to be here that God had put in our lives. So many little things... I know I'm only 19 and have so much life left ahead of me but it's amazing to me that even now I can start to see the puzzle of my life's events coming together. I can see why some things were burning passions within me, how little things like a book left deep marks of dreaming on my heart and how God has been calling me here and putting India in my heart from when I was a little girl hearing about the girl "who dreamed of blue eyes". And I don't know if this calling is my life calling or simply that of a year... But it's exciting to be able to see evidence of God's hand in my life. I have such amazing peace about being here. It's like I had this whole part of my heart that was empty and I never even realized until I got here and saw how even though I missed my family, friends, bathing suits I felt full, more than full-- over flowing. At home. At peace.  Even on my bad days I still can’t imagine being anywhere else but here. Once Aunty Dawn said something to me about when you are in the exact place God wants you to be that’s where the stream of God’s blessings are. I know without the tiniest shadow of a doubt that this is exactly where God wants me. 

Weekend at Mussoorie

This last week has been pretty great. We had a three day week with a four day weekend! On Friday we hiked up to Mussoorie...it was really beautiful. It was misty and very fairytale like. At one point we took a little break on the little spot in the middle of a field of little purple flowers and mist swirling up the mountain. It was stunning. I felt like I was in Scotland. 
    Mussoorie was stunning as well. It was misty the whole time so I never got to see much of the Himalayas but I still loved it! The family we were staying with was AMAZING! We got hot showers, comfortable beds, wore jeans (so amazing!), had lasagna, pizza, ice cream...It was seriously amazing! It made me really miss home though. I had almost forgotten how wonderful it is to have a "family" dinner...and it made me miss my family like crazy. 
       The guy we were staying with said something that really made me stop and think: "The Cross without the Resurrection is powerless but the Resurrection without the Cross is meaningless". He was talking about suffering. I know in my life I have always tried to stay away from suffering, I hate thinking about it, watching movies about it and it's so hard for me to see in real life... In my faith I have done the same. I hate watching The Passion or thinking about anything besides the Victory  in the story of The Cross. What he was saying is that when we are surrounded by suffering we can look to the cross, to Jesus. The Victory is at the end of the suffering. 
      It was an amazing weekend. I love it here (with the boys) but it was so wonderful to have some time away. 
      

Update 3 (september 24)

Hi!

I’ve been here for over three weeks now… tomorrow makes four weeks! It’s amazing how much I feel at home. I feel like I have been here for so much longer than three weeks but at the same time I still sometimes get hit with the fact that I am living in INDIA! I really love it here.

            The school has been going okay… I like the little kids a lot, but it’s difficult because I can’t understand them! But it’s starting to get better; I’m finding my place. At the big school one little girl I work with is getting better. We spent almost a whole hour working on “can”, they all say ‘c’ says “sa”. So its “san” but by the end she was saying can! It was pretty exciting. We play this game with these wooden letters.  I say the sound of the letter and they have to pick up the letter. One little boy can now get about half the alphabet! It’s exciting to see progress! For my “creative” class everyday is different. This class gives me the most headaches. Just because what I am supposed to do keeps changing! Right now it’s like do a story for 10-15 minutes and then go outside and let the kids play…we’ll see what happens this week!

            I am loving the boys! They are all so crazy fun and loveable. One of the boys had been kinda mean and not interested in me but a couple days ago he decided he liked me! So now he’s all about holding my hand or sitting next to me. And he’s not prompting the other boys to be mean to me…Since he decided he likes me the boys haven’t even been mocking me. It’s a nice break! Yesterday we spent hours in the pool. It was so fun! The boy were ganging up on me and dunking me and wrestling in the water. It was really fun, but they are SO strong! I have a few bruises and my eye is pretty sore (it got kicked) and my back hurts! But they were super sweet, pretty often they would stop and ask me if I was okay or if I got hurt. At one point one of the boys was holding my legs and I was trying to push him under and another boy jumped on us and landed on my shoulder and the boy’s head and he came up asking if I was okay and if I had been hurt! They’re just sweet like that. This weekend and last few days has just been a lot of fun! The pool is my favorite thing. today the water was so green and dirty that i couldn't see my legs, or my hand! I only stayed in for like 20 minutes cause I was scared of snakes. They have found a snake since I've been here and in water that green I wouldn't have been able to see it coming. Plus I was alone; if the boys were with me I would have probably swam longer!  We have so much fun and I love being in the water! The boys are all very interested in Hawai’i and sharks and dolphins and crabs and surfing and the ocean. I wish I could take them for a week trip!

            This weekend is a FOUR day weekend and it’s the volunteers off weekend so we are going to WALK up the mountain to this town. We’ll have hot water and pizza and I’m really excited!

            And in two weeks-ish we are going on a trek! I know, me a trek? But it will be awesome! We’re going in the Himalyas, it will be a 5 day trek (most likely, but possibly 4). From 4,000 to 10,000 feet! I am really excited but a little nervous too! We had a “meeting” today and Ashare told us about the food, what to expect, what to bring…I am seriously so excited! I’m a little nervous, the pack will be about 50 lbs and on three of the days it will be like walking for almost all day! It will end up being about 56k. I think I could totally be remembering wrong though. 

Hard day

            I had my first really hard day this last week on Monday. It was a hard day, and the boys were just mocking and mocking me and I got so frustrated I left in tears. But Amanda said something that really resonated with me. She said that we’re not here for how the boys make us feel, we’re not here to feel loved, we’re not here to feel appreciated, we’re not here for us. And that really made me stop and think. Because I am here for the boys, because God called me, and that means that I have to sacrifice my feelings and it isn’t about me. And I knew that it wasn’t about me and I was here to serve…I just hadn’t thought about what that meant for my feelings. It took me awhile but finally I was able to give to God that I would sacrifice feeling “loved”, or “special”, “appreciated” and even “needed” to be where he wants me. And that pouring into these boys’ lives is worth more than how I feel. It was really hard because I think part of me was expecting to come to India and for it to be really hard but that I would be so loved by the boys, and really feel like I was doing something so important. And God just needed me to realize that he’s called me here for the boys and not for me, and so that means giving up all of me.

            And the next day was a little hard, but better. And the day after was amazing, I felt so loved and had so much fun with the boys. And since then I’ve had so much fun, the boys have been loving and sweet and it’s just been amazing.  Like Amanda also said, “Most of the time the boys are loving and you feel purposed and appreciated but there will be times of mocking, not listening, not feeling appreciated and them really hurting you” and it’s a decision to believe and walk in that God has called me here, is using me and it’s about the boys not about me. It’s so easy to say that it’s about the boys and not me, the whole time I have been here I would have easily said that, or acknowledged it as truth, but when it comes down to the little things, like how I feel, it was a struggle. But since giving my feelings to God, it’s made a huge difference! And I have had a really blessed last couple of days. And I know there will be many more times that I will have to stop and give my emotions and hurt feelings to God, but fulfillment from God is worth the struggle.

            

Kanu Priya (I found them!)

There is this little girl in playgroup named Kanu Priya. And I love her and she loves me, she was the first of the little ones to cling to me and love me. Everyday she runs up to me, with a huge smile on her face, and jumps into my arms. She sits next to or on my lap all the time and is always at my side. When I correct the homework (they send homework for THREE year olds, it’s just coloring, but still!) she won’t go to class and will sit next to me and “help” me. After I check the homework I put it in the file and hand her the file to close, it makes almost more work for me but she gets so proud helping. And then the other day she took the checked homework from me and put it into the file herself. She got this huge smile and looked up at me for the approval and praise she knew I would have for her.

            God gave me this picture in one of my quiet times. That this is how we (God and me) are. He’s letting me sit next to him, carefully giving me little projects and allowing me to help him. Even though I make mistakes and it’s more work allowing me to be involved than Him just doing it himself. But he showed me just as I enjoy Kanu Pryia’s company and love God also enjoys me. And slowly I will get to the place where I actually am helping God. It was really amazing, just to see how much God loves me and that he has called me simply to love him, to love being with him, and to cheerfully do the little things he gives me.

            He also really spoke to me about how much he does. He does the work and gives me a tiny bit of the work to do, and so I can’t feel responsible for the work. How things end up aren’t up to me, I’m only responsible for “closing the snap”. And he has everything under control.

            It was a good quiet time!

updates deleted....

really frustrating all my updates somehow got deleted... need to rewrite them...

Update 2 (September 5)

Hi everyone,

            I’ve been here for over a week now…and I LOVE it! It’s amazing to me how right this feels, I haven’t even been truly homesick! Before I came I so wasn’t sure what this place was about, I only knew that God wanted me here. I just wanted to give you guys a better idea of what I am doing here.

            My schedule: okay so my alarm goes off at 6:15 and I have to get out of bed by 6:30 (this is probably the HARDEST part). Then I eat breakfast, get ready, and do a quiet time. At a few minutes to 8 we walk over to the school. Monday through Thursday Kelly and I are in charge of assembly. Monday and Wednesday are with the younger kids and Tuesday and Thursday are with the older kids. So far we haven’t had to take over the big kids’ as they are finishing a series on the Fruits of the Spirit. And then on Friday I am teaching a Moral Science class, which is basically like a Sunday school type lesson. I have only done this once so far! I’m with class 1A, so it’s like 30 something seven year olds!

            After assembly/ Moral science Ruth (my roommate) and I get a ride over to the nursery/play group. We both are assistance teachers in Play group. Play group is pretty awesome; the kids are pretty cute and sweet to me. They hit each other a lot! Which bothers me and I spend most of my day telling them to stop. There are 32 little three year olds in the class I help with. And they speak NO ENGLISH other than “apple” or what you tell them to repeat. So I’m praying hard to pick up on Hindi. There are a few kids that I’m already in love with over there.                     

         At 12 the kids leave and a car comes to take me back to the “big school”, where I spend about 40 minutes to an hour teaching kids that are behind in class 1. I have three, possibly four, who can’t read and three that need help with sentence structure (like putting the words in the right order) and writing. At 1 I teach a “creative” class with all of class 1B (34 kids!). Seriously my schedule is like creative, Creative, think of more creative!!!! I’m starting to really enjoy it though. Yesterday we did finger painting and then coloring in an outline of a hand. They got SO creative. So if anyone has good, easy crafty ideas for kids that are 7 I would love them!!!

            And then at 1:30 school ends and we get over to the little boys’ house by 2 to eat lunch. The food has been pretty yummy. Some days are so good (like last night was AWESOME!) and so days are just okay. But it’s never been bad or anything. Which is awesome, there have been a few times that when I see it I’m just like “oh no! ewww!” but then it always tastes yummy. The boys all tease me about how I eat. I take too small of bites and hold my hand differently. A few of the boys are always coming up and teasing me about how I eat.

            After we are done eating we work on homework. We (the volunteers) split the boys up so we are always working with the same kids. I work with Mucoon and Bhorat. Mucoon is such a fun kid. He has been doing poorly and the girls only gave me two boys so I could spend a lot of time with him. But he seems to be doing so good! He got a gold star in math (his weakest subject!). Nibha works with him at school on math twice a week and she said that he had never done so well. He got all the 6s and only missed one of the 7s. So that was pretty awesome! And he got 1 out of 15 on his spelling words. When I told him that Amanda and I had been talking about how smart he was and how good he did he got this HUGE smile and tried to hide it but them just smiled bigger! It’s been really cool. He had a computer test today; we’ve been studying A LOT over the past few days so hopefully it went well! He said it was “easy” but we’ll have to wait and see the grade!

            It was so cute when we were studying when he would get the right answer to a hard one I would make him give me a high five and last night after doing that for awhile, then he would make me give him a high five. He would put his hand out and make me give him a high five before he would answer the next question. I love this kid! I’ve only known him a week but I could probably write this whole letter about him!

            The other boy I help is Bhorat. He doesn’t need as much help, he’s really smart but he had been not doing/turning in his homework. I feel a little bad because I don’t give him as much attention as he wants because Mucoon really wants/needs you to be right there studying with him. But Bhorat is so fun! He is always the first to pick up on something to tease me about: my eating, “But why” (which I was saying one night to one of the boys and now all the boys just say it all the time teasing me). He is super funny and loves attention.

            Another boy Nanda isn’t in my group but he has been wanting to work with me to. So  I have been doing just a little bit studying with him. He’s super funny too. The boys are all just so fun and funny and seriously the most accepting kids ever. I mean I’ve been here just over a week and they have already allowed me so much into their lives. I love them already.

            At 3 the boys have work time on the farm. So that’s our break time. It’s nice. Then the boys get done with working at 5 but have playtime till 7:30. I haven’t spent much of their playtime with them besides when we go swimming, but I want to start. But it’s so easy to find stuff to do in our “off time”.

            So at 7:30 I go back to the little boys’ house for dinner. And after dinner we work on any leftover homework and then read stories and talk and play till nine when the boys have to go to sleep.

            Every other weekend we are “on”. Which this will be my first weekend “on” so I’m not totally sure what all it will be like. But basically it’s a break for the house parents.

So that’s like what I’m basically doing.

            Before I left I wasn’t sure why the boys were here, if they were orphans or what. Well only like a few of them don’t have any family but most of the boys come from leper colonies. None of the boys have leprosy but their parents do and lepers are shunned. The boys go home for two weeks out of the year.

            Okay so there are about 50 boys who live here. They are separated into two homes. The ‘little boys’ and the ‘big boys’, we spend most of our time with the little boys. I LOVE these kids! There are 11 of the little boys.

            It’s amazing how at home I feel. I feel like I have been here for so much longer than 10 days! I have to keep being like “You just got here”. The school part is pretty exhausting, but good. And the boys are just so fun. I love being with them.

           

            I love the other girls. They are seriously so awesome. Kelly has been such like a huge help with my classes at the big school, giving me ideas and seriously so much help! Ruth is like the sweetest, most considerate girl ever! Amanda is like amazing and so fun! She’s taught me how to make yogurt and granola. It was lots of fun. It’s so important for me to have people who I can just talk to, and God totally gave me them! I love them!

            So exciting! Kelly and I want to go to Nepal and climb part of Mt. Everest!!! We’re planning on doing that over Christmas! Amanda is going home for Christmas and Ruth isn’t sure what she’s doing yet. But I am so excited to go to Nepal! Amanda loves to travel to and so we want to try and see more of India. Within the next month we are going up to Massouri. Which is like a really cute town with hot showers and you can get American food. The girls have been telling me about these pancakes that are actually thick like a cake! We can see the lights from the city up on the mountain. It’s going to be so fun!

Sorry this is so long…

Prayers answered:   

            ~THE FOOD HAS BEEN AWESOME!                                                                                         ~ I love the boys and they have accepted me

            ~I really haven’t been homesick. I mean I miss my family, especially Mai…but its only when I really allow myself to think about missing them. And it’s not a constant sadness, which I was expecting. God has really just filled my heart; I’m more than content. I feel complete.

            ~And seriously I was worried about it taking a long time before I felt at home here and the boys accepted me. But after 10 days I feel totally at home. I love it.

            ~And God’s kept me protected.

Like all of the things I asked for prayer for have been met. Thank you so much for your prayers!

Prayer Requests:

            ~THAT I WOULD BE ABLE TO MIRACULOUSLY PICK UP ON HINDI, both in hearing and speaking! (This would be fully a miracle and would love your prayers on this!)

            ~For creativity and idea for my classes

            ~Continued protection/health (like all the teachers and a lot of the kids at play group have been sick and now Ruth is sick…I really don’t want to get sick!)

            ~that God would fill me with patience and love.

Okay I love you guys! Bye! I’ll try to get some pictures up soon!