Good Friday, Good day in India

I'm having an amazing day and wanted to share it. Katie and I stayed up till three chatting about God, what to do next, boys, food, our boys. Mina played with my hair for a good hour (favorite thing). I woke up for an amazing french toast breakfast (not a big fan of French toast but today it was one of the best things I've ever had) made for us by a couple of the young teen boys from a visiting group. We had more talking. It's still surprising to me how instantly I am drawn to someone who speaks English and is from the West. I just want to sit and talk to them forever. It was nice to have "mommy chats" (which is where i can just tell them everything happening in my life and my heart and what I am dreaming and thinking about). Poor Frieda gets so many of my mommy chats she thinks I'm crazy. I even got in a couple "daddy chats" with some of the men. I just crave being with parents. One of the guys family is from Hawaii and he's Japanese and his name is Pono. And I loved getting to talk to him. Any connection to Hawaii just makes my day. I miss it. Then I sat on the roof and wrote in my journal, I started to pretend to be artistic and painted. Which is so much fun! I am having lots of fun pretending to be able to draw! Then went to the Good friday "service". Where we sang alot of my favorite songs and I had a great worship time, which I don't normally feel here so that was awesome! A few of the boys from the visiting group are hip hop dancers and so Katie and I went to watch them teach the boys a hip hop dance. They were impressive and our boys are just so cute. words don't do them justice.

We were all hot and sticky so we put on our swim clothes told the boys to come join us and went swimming. After a few minutes our boys came running up and stripping down to their panties (...ummm boy version of panties?) jumped in. I love swimming with 15 loud, laughing, funny boys. I swallowed lots and lots of pool water thanks to many dunkings and water fights. The boys picked right back up where we had left off, me flipping them and them grabbing my legs and dunking me. We kept score and I won. We did races and diving and "Superman" jumping and throwing. I loved it. I have that after pool feeling in my belly, where I just know my body is disgusted with the nasty green water that got forced into it. but it's so worth it! I missed playing in the pool with the boys so much! 

After playing for a couple hours took a cold shower (which is not so miserable when you're already wet). Chatted with Nibha and watched an Office episode. and now I am going to be getting ready for a Mac and Cheese and chocolate and henna date night with Katie.......my life is good. really good. (Nacho is like all I can think of right now. Poor Katie has never seen it and i quote it all the time.)

Coming home

Finally we were on our way home. We woke up at 3:30 am to catch our train. Had a miserable train ride, in my cheapness we had gotten the train where 19 people crowd onto benches in each section. I was pissed. And hot. And got train sick. For over 6 hours. We had a 4 and a half hour lay over in Delhi. By this point all I had eaten was a bag of chips, I had slept less than 4 hours, it was hot/ I was dirty, crabby, ready to be home, and frustrated. Sitting on the floor of the train station I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted the people to stop looking at me and I did not want to talk to them. I gave some boys in their early 20s the most disgusted look I could when I caught them staring at me and talking about me. I was so mad. It was just from being harassed by the sellers, and pushed, and stared at, and talked to so much over our trip,  and the lack of sleep and food. I was ready to cry when an Indian family sat down next to me and first just stared at me, then talked about me, and then sent the kids over to talk to me. I have never felt so resentful of kids before. I did not want to talk to them. I did not think they were cute. Smiling was the most I could do. I knew I was being a brat and that it wasn’t their fault but all I wanted was to be left alone. But this is India so I wasn’t. After the kids “paved the way” the parents came and “talked to me”. As in they sat in a circle around me and when figuring out I don’t speak hindi, just talked to each other about me. Sometimes pointing, sometimes trying to ask me things by saying the words slowly. Which I still didn’t understand and felt ready to cry. I felt like I was on display and had to just smile. Then they left. But by that point another family had joined them. A mom and her two little kids. Who I was not the least bit interested in. I listened to the girl count to 100 (one two twelve, one three thirteen, ect…) smiling and nodding. But then my heart melted. 

And I fell in love. The little boy was two. And he is adorable and pretty quickly he had me wrapped around his finger. I mean seriously look at that face! How cute is he?! And instantly my mood changed. I was talkative, trying to communicate with the mom and daughter. Playing, tickling and laughing. 

Katie woke up and drew the girl and the little boy. I played with them for a couple hours. The mom bought me coffee (which may have really been the reason for the mood change: sugar and caffeine).

Once I was happy again, the best moments were when he just came and slumped against me and rested, and when his laughing face was inches from mine. 

He started running full speed at me and then jumping into my arm and his little face was just too cute! I loved him. The girl was beautiful and after a bit she came and cuddled too. I loved it.

She was maybe 8. So cute. I love them, its so hard that I’ll never see them again. That I could so quickly fall in love with them and their gone forever.

After that we had another 7 and something hours on a train. At one point the train was filled with singing and clapping. Gotta love India. And it smelled horrible. The worst India has ever smelled. The farm is just an oasis. Being back is so good. It was a wonderful trip full of fun memories but I’m glad to be back and to have more purpose in my life!

Jaipur

Jaipur was our last stop before heading back to the Farm. 

I loved seeing all the leis. I was given a jasmine lei and wore it all day. It felt like home. 

Monkey Temple

We went to the monkey temple (and FORGOT the camera. So these photos are from the internet!). It was beautiful. Built in between two peaks of the big hill/little mountain. Monkeys were EVERYWHERE. It was really cool. I was sitting down by the water, a little lake type thing the people use for holy baths, and there was this little tiny baby monkey who came so close to me. I was starting to feel all warm and lovely towards monkeys when all of a sudden a big monkey about a foot from me starts hissing and yelling at me. Not in a cute way, in a “I’m going to attack you” sort of way. So what do I do? 

The natural thing: jump quickly and gasp scream. Not the best idea. Not as bad as running away and screaming, but you don’t want to show the monkey you’re afraid. Cause then they’re even more likely to attack you. Getting coached by some locals I slowly moved away from the monkey and left the area. I was a little shaky. Back to hating animals. As we walked around more monkeys hissed at me. Mutual feelings of hate. Later I was told of how monkey attack as a family, so if one had tried to attack me they all would have joined and helped kill me. I almost liked monkeys, but after that….Animals just aren’t my thing!

  Cobras.

 

Snakes. If you know my dad you know how much he hates snakes. I have not only embraced that emotion but also his fear. Somehow I ended up allowing a “Snake Charmer” to put a live cobra around my neck. Obviously I was terrified. And since that incident my fear and disgust has not in the slightest diminished. But I held a cobra. Twice. 
(Katie was much braver)

Ice cream.

A highlight of Jaipur to be sure. Real ice cream. Real happiness. One of our favorite days to be sure. 

We also had a pretty fantastic Italian meal. Wood stove pizza with four cheeses and garlic. We ate ourselves sick (literally).

Choki Dhani

Katie and I went to an Indian fun fair. It was awesome. There was a huge slide. That I loved! We got Traditional Rajasthani Massage. Mahendi (henna) done. 

Elephants. I rode a camel. It was so tall. I hadn't expected to be so high up. I'm such a baby it was a good thing I was with Katie. When the camel stands up it first goes onto its knees and you rock forward like crazy. A little bit scary. Next time I'll remember not to wear a dress!

A huge dinner. Really, really yummy dinner. with lots of lassi and yummy sweets. The plates and bowls were made out of leaves. Pretty awesome! 

There were swings, a wooden ferris wheel, a "haunted house", puppet shows, magic shows, traditional dances and dance lessons!

The women looked so beautiful. Their skirts were huge and the gold beads and sequins looked so cool when they spun.

Udaipur

After a 12 hour overnight train, on which I was pretty miserable, we made it to Udaipur. It is stunning. A town built around the “first man-made lake”. Beautiful buildings and amazing palaces. Three of them, the City Palace, Water Palace, and the Monsoon Palace. I loved the city!

Poor Katie got sick on our second day there, really sick. With chills and then the hottest fever I had ever felt. I was terrified of a “Little Women” tragedy (The scene with Beth and Jo). But thankfully she was feeling okay after a few days.

  City Palace Museum

The City palace Museum was one of my favorite places in Udaipur. I went twice and spent hours there. I loved the history of it, the thoughts about the people who had lived there before. The splendor of it. Whole walls covered in mosaics made with semiprecious stones, and windows made of coloured glass, and window seats carved from marble. I loved it.

The Beauty Room

                                                      
      Little Friends

I made some little friends who entertained me for  hours with their silly smiles, 7 english words, and funny little games. I was basically in love with them and so mad at myself for not working harder to learn Hindi…

Octopussy. Seriously?! You gotta love James Bond. How did he get away with those names? Anyways the movie was made in Udaipur (as everyone loves to tell you). Most hotels and many restants show the movie every night. Our last night there Katie and I watched it.

                                     Real Food.

We found this little “french bakery” where they made brown bread and multigrain bread. And a brown bread sandwhich with just tomato, cucumber and chese. Heaven, in other words. It was amazing!

I loved Udaipur

TAJ MAHAL and the Agra Fort

The Taj Mahal.

Majestic. Wonderful. Awe-inspiring. Breath taking. White. Huge. Beautiful. It was simply wonderful. I couldn’t have imagined it more spectacular or beautiful. I can’t describe it well enough (my vocabulary has definitely decreased since living in India) so I’m not going to try: I’ll just show you the beautiful pictures!

Katie and I had thought we would have to 
wear the Indian suits so when we found out we could wear western clothes we were pretty excited. We decided we wanted to wear something fun and Indian but still pretty. We found these awesome, colorful, “Indian”, still pretty (as in they don’t look like an unflattering bag) outfits in Delhi.

With our gold earrings, bright outfits, white skin and red lips we made quite a scene. I felt so self conscious walking down the street to the Taj Mahal. After a few minutes inside the Taj Mahal I was fine. Everyone and their brother wanted to take pictures with us.  We said yes most of the time. Hundreds of pictures. It was really fun.

Ruth and I

Katie and I said good bye to Kelly, Ruth and Diane (who headed back to the farm). We spent the night in Agra at the Sai Palace.

 The next day went to see the Agra Red Fort. The biggest fort in all of Asia. We asked the restraunt how far away it was and how much we should pay to get there. The man was almost disgusted that we would want to take an auto “only 15 minute walk” and “walk is healthy”. We decided he was right, we should walk. So we walked about 10 minutes and then asked for more directions “keep going, only 15 minutes” was our answer. 15 minutes later we checked again “only 10-15 minutes walk”. Do you see the pattern? 

But finally the Fort came into view. We were very excited. We crossed the road and started looking for the enterance. We walked, and walked, and looked and looked, and walked and looked some more. Finally we found the enterance. If you picture the fort as a clock, where we first came when we crossed the road was the 12. We walked towards the 1 when the enterance was at the 11. Katie and I walked all the way around the biggest fort in Asia. 

It was beautiful. And we made a little money. This time when people asked us if they could take pictures of us we made them pay 10 rupees (about 20 cents) a picture. 

and then I loved

Today was my last day with my 1^st grade class with them as 1^st graders…next time I see them they’ll be 2^nd graders. And as we hurried through Oh the Thinks you can Think!* By Dr. Suess (one of my favorites) it started going through my mind. The ending of things. As we walked to the buses I walked a moment with each child holding their hand and telling them that I was glad I was their teacher and I was proud of them, thanking them for cards and fun memories. And giving parting hugs. Towards the end some of the kids gathered around me, running into my arms for their hug, telling me in broken English that they loved me and “bye!”. And as they clung to my hand or held me in their hug or ran to me it caught me by surprise: this love I have for them. This intense warmth of love. Tears were in my eyes.  And as one little boy pulled me down to his level he told me “I love you ….AUNTY” (which is huge. I’ve always been mam here never aunty) and as he said it I knew he had put emotion and love behind it as this huge smile spread over his face. And giving my cheek a kiss he ran off to the bus with me calling out after him “I love you!” as tears began to threaten to fall. I held it together to give my final hugs and get my kisses but as I walked back to the classroom to get my books I had tears streaming down my face. I sat down and looked at the empty classroom and thought “how can I leave?”. I got myself back under control long enough to walk back to my house where I promptly broke down again. I have two more months till I come home. Two months.

My heart is gripped with the finality of it. That I can never again go into Class 1B and see those kids. The finality of the fact that I leave in 9 weeks. How can I leave? How do you say goodbye? How is it Already half way through March?! How do you leave these kids that love you and you love in return?

  

*I’ve been reading them the story and making them colour as we go along, of course I didn’t show them the pictures till today. To get them to be creative. It starts easy: draw some birds, something yellow, blue, red and pink but then they have to think up a “zong”, a “guff”, a “snuv”, “The Vipper of Vip” what Na-nup looks like and Da-dake! For kids that can’t draw anything without copying a picture it was intense~but wonderful and fun. The end results were amazing!

TRIP!

Tomorrow the other girls and I are starting on our trip. We all will go down to delhi and then go see the Taj Mahal. Katie and I will continue on by ourselves! We'll spend the night in Agra (where the Taj is) and then continue west to Rajasthan, which is known for colour and to be more like Aladin-ish (is it sad that I still base things off cartoons?)! I'm so excited. We're going to Udaipur (the bone-white dessert) where we want to ride camels and horses and see things! And then we're spending a few days in Jaipur, the capital of Jaipur. It's the PINK city. How awesome is that? a pink city! I am so excited. We have lots of llllooooooonnnnnggggggg train rides (more than 10 hours) so thats the least exciting part. We'll be gone for 10 days and I'm expecting it to be fully magical.  Pictures are definitely to come!

I love being here!

I’ve been here for a week! It’s been a great week. I’m settling back in both on the farm with the boys and at the school. Our house is being redone [bathroom tiled and painted, room being painted, marble counter in the kitchen!!!) so Ruth and I in Kara and Jeremy’s (two new awesome volunteers!) house. It’s been nice because I have my own room so I’m not afraid of waking Ruth up when I get up at 3 and 4 am. Gotta love time changes. Hopefully we’ll be back in our house by the end of next week!

         School has been really great! I’m working with Kelly in 1A (first grade) for two periods, teaching phonics with both of the second grade classes, teaching in KG for two periods (so much fun!), and then I still have my “fun class” with 1B. I love being at the “big school”. I feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be. It’s a nice feeling! Of course there have been some not so nice things…getting used to the cold showers…(yuck!), the food (which is normally tasty but still a big change), the electricity coming and going, and not being able to understand a lot of what is being said…. BuT I’ve had so many more highlights:

*My first day my class 1B started screaming “hello”s and ran up for hugs.

*The teacher I worked with gave me a big hug and said they missed me and why hadn’t I come sooner.

*Ratan told me he saw me (it wasn’t actually me someone who looks like me) at the hospital and I had a little baby who was so cute and kept falling down when he tried to walk.

*Bharat asking me “Who are you?” and then answering his question as “I am Bharat, boy, son of God” and telling me I am Kalana, daughter of God.

*reading stories with the boys

*Playing tea party with Joshna

*Having one of the little boys (in class 1b) grab my hand as I was handing out papers and stammer “Mam…I…..I…you beautiful”.

*Teaching sign language to my classes

*Having the kids say “ka” for the sound c makes! No more “sa”!

*Buying a dozen bananas for $.60

*Telling the story of Job in assembly, my first assembly since coming back…I loved being back up there doing assemblies!

*playing catch phrase with the other volunteers.

*chow mein birthdays

*having CONVERSATIONS with kids at school (their English has gotten so much better!)

*Mukund’s improvements. The other day he came and found me at school to show me his 92% test. I love that kid.

*Rahul giggling and trying to hide from bedtime kisses.

*Miraj telling me about his day.

*Getting mob hugged by my old playgroup class.

*Seeing all my “favorite” kids.

*playing with Joshna (Ken and Frieda’s awesome 4 year old granddaughter who just moved out here with her parents!)

*Spicy “cheetos”

*the Mountains

*The new volunteers who are all totally awesome!

*Phonics time is my new favorite part of the day!

*playing on the teeter totter to show “weight” and a “scale” with some kids I take out from 1A.

*Wearing bangles again

I love being back in India.

I'm here!

I made it! I made both my flights, train was easy, all my luggage made it. I'm stoked! There were a couple "worrisome" moments...like when The check-in lady wouldn't let me check-in because I don't have a return flight...but FINALLY (after my heart just drops) she gets the clear to let me on the plane. both my bags were just under 50lbs. Yes, I'm amazing [...i didn't think i would be able to manage it!]. Then there was a tiny problem with my flight being a little late and having the wrong gate number on my ticket. So there I am at C121 when I hear "Continental Flight to Delhi boarding at C138" on the speakers so I start heading to C138 but it isn't so close. So I start walking fast...finally running. I got to the gate in time to be one of the last ones on. But then once the door was closed we sat on the runway for almost an hour. So fun [pure sarcasm right there!]. I finally made it to India after about 24 hours of traveling. Made it through customs, got my baggage, calmed the monster knot of hair on the back of my head and met up with Ruth and Rajesh (one of the most helpful, awesome older boys). Spent about 7 hours in the airport, took a taxi to the train. Carried our bags up and up stairs then down to the platform. BUT we went too far it was the platform before. so back up and down the monster stairs. Got onto the train and settled in for the 6 hour ride. Ken picked us up and took us to their house for lunch then we came back to the farm. And now here I am. my room is being redone so I'm in another room for the next week or so...I'm really excited to get back into life here. I've missed it deeply. Tomorrow I'm going to visit my playgroup class and then on Tuesday [Monday's a holiday] I'll start a new schedule! I'm very excited!!! 

On my WAY!

I'm finally going back, let me tell you it was a nightmare! The new visa laws forcing me to stay out an extra 5 weeks was a dark cloud. But the silver lining was going to California and getting to spend lots of time with my older sisters and their families! It was SO much fun getting to play and reconnect with their kids. I have the best nieces [4] and nephews[2 of them]! And then I went up to Uncle Doug and Auntie Val's [my mom's best friend of life who is wonderful and amazing!] house. It was a wonderful last couple of days, being wonderfully spoiled. We went for a walk in the woods, shopping, champagne touring, to Avatar in 3D [it was fantastic!], church, watched Nacho Libre [the funniest movie of all time!], we ate yummy salads, yummy pizza [made by Uncle Doug!], amazing italian food [lasagna and tiramisu], yummy food in general. And of course I quite enjoyed the big, deep bath tub! Thank you Aunty Val and Uncle Doug for making my last few days in America so very wonderful! I feel refreshed and ready to go! I love you It has really been an amazing time, the  silver lining has taken over until the "black cloud" is no longer black!


I've had a hard time trying to get back, four days before my ticket I got an email very cooly explaining how my flight was canceled. I was just heartbroken. But the next day I was able [after an hour!] to rebook my flight! So please pray for me over these next few days that I get to India with all of my baggage. I won't feel "safe" until I do! I'm leaving in 30 minutes for the airport! 


GOODBYE AMERICA! I am so excited to get to India, my bags are full of books and jello and colors. Goodbye!

Here I come India! oh wait no I don't!

This post has taken me quite a while to write. I tried so many times, but I just couldn't do it. okay, here we go: India has a new policy about tourist visas (me). The new rule? you have to stay out of the country for TWO WHOLE MONTHS before you can enter again.

This has been an emotional roller coaster. First hearing the news I was terrified, i was leaving for America in a week! But then I had peace because it was only for 5 and 10 year visas. I had a one year...Then I got an email saying that it would apply to me (worry, upset, anxious). But then Ken and Frieda felt like I would still be able to get back in. A lot of times new rules and laws are not necessarily fallowed. Back to the easy, uncomplicated, peaceful state. But then the big one: the visa company sent me an email saying I couldn't get in. This email was the scariest. And Ken and Frieda agreed. I wouldn't be able to get through the AIRPORT but maybe I could get through going by land? So I looked and looked for a ticket to Nepal with the intension of going from boarder post to boarder post until someone let me in. It would be an adventure. I was excited for this idea. But financially it was really much too expensive (like $1200 more!) And there was a really good chance that I would be stuck alone in Nepal for a month.

I have found a solution. I'll be in Kona till the 25th (nine extra days) and then go to California to visit my two older sisters and their families and leave there on the 23rd of Feb when I can legally get back in. And it will be really good. But it's not easy. I cried myself to sleep last night. I'm missing the birthdays. I'm missing the boys. I'm missing my classes. I have so little time there already and to lose over a month of it is breaking my heart. I've been struggling through this all to trust God and be joyful. But it's not easy. I want more than anything to be in control and this situation reminded me once again how I have absolutely NO control over anything.  And it's a lesson I hate learning. Because it always comes with heart ache. But I know God is GOOD and he is in control.

And so here I am. I am not going to be on that flight on the 16th.